Forever Haunting Me
by xXLizBethXx
Summary: It's been four years since Gemma Doyle has arrived in America. Things did not follow through as planned but she is making the best of it. Gemma has not had any realm related or Kartik dreams until now. Follow Gemma through the mystery to find out why!
1. Chapter 1

I'm running and I don't know why. All I know is I can't stop, my feet won't allow me too. I don't know where I am, everything is foggy and sweat is stinging my eyes. An old Indian man stopsme and offers me his holy relic, I thank him, confused, and stick it in my petticoat pocket. The fog suddenly clears and I'm in my childhood backyard, a tiger comes up to me, sniffs my torso,then walks off. I turn around and I'm in the realms, my mother is sitting on a rock braiding my hair, I take in her lovely scent and close my eyes while it fills my body. I am weightless. I slowlyopen my eyes and I'm with Kartik, sitting under a tree on the grounds of Spence Academy. He is holding me tightly to him, telling me sweet nothings. I press my lips to his neck and when I look up to see his beautiful face I'm in my room, drenched in sweat. I feel bile coming up my throat and I run to the toilet but don't make it in time and I fall to the floor crying and out of breathe while I curl into a ball and lay next to the disgusting remains that just came out of my mouth not seconds ago. "Why!" I cry out in deep sobs. I sit up and beat my fists against mythighs violently. "Why is this happening to me now?" I conjure this to myself and lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes and breathe in deeply and hold it. I slowly let it out through my mouth and get up and glide over to my desk. I take out a piece of paper and a ink pen and start to write a letter to Felicity.

Dear Felicity,

Urgent. Please come. Bring Ann.

I think the time has come again.

Your Dearest Gemma.

I sigh loudly to myself and fall back on my bed. I close my eyes and pretend to sleep till morning.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun paints my walls through the east window. I stare as the early morning shadows dance across my room and then I am up and dressed in my work clothes and I don't recall doing this myself. I take one last look at myself in the piece of scrap mirror I have salvaged off the streets and recoil in disgust at the purple sores under my eyes and around my mouth. I groan loudly and throw the scrap mirrow across the room and watch it shatter into hundreds of shimmering shards.

"Great why in the hell did I just do that?" I say to myself out loud.

My voice doesn't even sound like my own, its foreign and unrecognizable to me. This makes me pause and think for a few brief seconds, I shake it off.

"I'm just groggy" I think and let it slip out of my mind for I have more important matters to attend to today.

I then hastily grab an envelope from under my mattress and stuff my letter to Felicity in it and seal it with what spit I have left in my body. Then quickly jot down her address on the front and stick it in my apron pocket for safe keeping. I stare at the mess i made on the floor and groan. The bile has dried to the floor and its going to take forever to clean off the floor. I search around my room for a dirty rag and lay it over the throw up to remind me later to clean it up.I then lazily float down the stairs and into the kitchen where I am greeted by the smell of eggs and potatoes. It's intoxicating and fills my body with warmth. I hug my arms closely to my body and sit at the little wooden table in the far corner of the kitchen and wait for Rosalita, the woman who took me in, to make me a plate. The tortures of last night fills my thoughts and I start to daydream about him again. The feel of his hands touching my body. Rough, course hands, but yet so gentle with me, it was like magic. My stomach tightens and tries to pull me out of my day dream but I fight it hard, making myself rather queasy. And then I hear it..him..calling my name from afar.

"Gemma. Gemma darling, please wake up! Time for breakfast!" And then it hits me. Its actually Rosalita waking me from my longing nightmares.

I sigh and sit up eagerly waiting for her to serve me my portion. "Sorry Rosie, must have slipped there for minute or so." I quietly say and smile slightly at her.

She sets my plate down in front of me and I quickly dive in to the eggs first, stuffing my face like I haven't eaten in days. Although I am fed well here so I don't know what has come over me. I swallow hard choking and gasping for air as it comes out my nose also. I am a disgusting creature. This time I slowly and daintily eat my food as if I were in grandmama's presence or Simon's. Simon. This boy hasn't even crossed my mind since the last time I was in London. I wonder what poor girl married him. I shiver and shove the thought away and clear my throat and look up at Rosie.

"What chores do I have to do today?" She ignores me.

The deal was if I work for her I eat and sleep here for free. Seems like a pretty good trade off to me considering I was left for the streets two years ago. I quickly shove this thought away and clear my throat again, "The reason I'm asking Rosie is well, I have an errand to run. Actually a letter to mail, its quite important. It's for my brother, Tom." I lie and cover it well I think.

Rosie turns to me and smiles sitting down across from me, "That's perfectly fine with me Gemma. How about you go and mail your letter first and then you can start on your days work. Sound good?"

I nod quickly and smile at the nice old woman and quickly finish my plate up and wash it off with a dirty old rag and put it back in the cupboard.

"I'll be back later Rosie, just to the post office and back!" I yell as I'm walking out the door into the cool sunny Chicago morning.


	3. Chapter 3

I stepped out onto the cobble stone street and headed north. I didn't care where I was going, I knew I would end up at the post office sometime today; and it wasn't like Rosie was keeping watch on me. She knows I like to get out and explore as much as I can. I took several deep breaths and spread out my arms and just ran screaming down the street. I didn't care if I wasn't acting lady like or that I looked like a complete fool. It felt amazing, releasing all the pent up, negative energy I had building inside me. When I finally reached the end of the street I quickly halted and took one giant step to the left and started walking west not knowing or caring where I would end up. As the day grew on I began to get restless for I realized I should have gone to the right, I swore under my breath and turned around and followed my foot steps back. And then it happened, I was being pulled into a forgotten memory, better left forgotten. Dejavu took over me and I was lost in a sea of memories that played out two years ago.

* * *

It was early morning and the streets of New York were packed full of busy business men like always. My favorite thing to do every morning was walk down to the harbor and watch all the ships going and coming. It gave me peace and set of my mind. So that's what I did this particular morning like I did every morning, but something didn't feel right. I went over everything in my head over and over again and I just couldn't put my finger on it. It felt like someone was watching me/ i looked around and no one was there, it was confirmed I am alone. I shrugged it off, maybe I hadn't forgotten anything.

So I continued on my way to the docks. I was in my own world, a beautiful world filled with everything but reality. I loved looking through all the windows in the tiny shops on the way, it was the only reminder of my childhood. The gowns, gloves, shoes, and dances. I didn't miss any of it, but I liked the reminder. I decided to take the longer route today, I've never taken it and decided to give it a chance. I took all the back alleys and streets, slipping through parted buildings, having the best time of my life. I finally reached my spot at the docks and sat down, took off my shoes and socks and rolled up my pant leggings. Yes pants, I traded all of my petticoats and fancy dressings for men's clothes. I didn't care how any one looked at me it was what I felt most comfortable in.

I dipped my feet into the harbor and lay back and close my eyes, letting the spray from the waves and the wind brush my face. Then something didn't feel right. I felt a heartbeat in the wood, footsteps. I opened my eyes and quickly sat up and turned around and saw a peculiar man walking towards me. I don't know if he saw me, but he didn't look very nice. I grabbed my shoes and socks and started walking quickly in the other direction heading towards the ships, I figure I'll hide in between the ships until the man walks past or leaves the area. I slip into a tight dock between two ships and hide in the shadows, I wait in anticipation for the man to walk past but minutes go by that feel like hours and he never does. I slowly creep out and look both ways down the docks and see no one. Sighs of relief flow out of my body and I start to put on my shoes and socks, I stand up and brush myself off and raise my head to walk forward and he's there, standing before me, staring at me like I'm a piece of fresh meat. Beads of sweat form on my forehead and neck and I start to back up. For every step I took he took there was one coming towards me. I sent out a silent prayer to god and started running, running as fast I could away from him and then I felt his arms around me, pulling me close to his body. I screamed till my throat started to bleed and no one came, I felt lightheaded and sick. I vomited on his shoes. He slapped me and then covered my nose and mouth with a rag that smelt funny and then everything went black.

When I finally woke up I didn't know where I was. But at least I was alive, thank you god. I got out of the bed I was in and creaked the door open and the most wonderful smell over came me and I was carried through the house to the kitchen where I was greeted by a short, plump lady grinning up at me.

Her name was Rosalita Vieira. Her native tongue was Portuguese, but she spoke English quite well too. She motioned for me to sit down at the table and so I did and waited for a plate of that wonderful smell she was cooking. I cleared my throat carefully not to put to much strain on it for it still burned and quietly asked, " I don't mean to be rude Mrs. Vieira but how did I end up with you? I mean the last thing I remember was some man chasing me." I looked up at her and studied her features. She had long dark black hair, her skin was smooth but rough looking. She kind of reminded me of Kartik in a way. My stomach hurt at the thought of his name. Damn him.

She walked over and handed me a plate and a glass of water that I immediately started to devour and sat down next to me. "I had heard you screaming. I was up the docks a few ways bringing my son lunch and all of the sudden we both heard this blood curdling scream and we started running in the direction we thought it came from. We saw this man dragging your body down the docks. My son immediately ran after him and chased him off. We decided to bring you here, you didn't look like you had a home or really anyone to take care of you, so we decided to take you in." she smiled at me and then got up and went back over to the stove.

I had stopped eating. My mind was filling with all sorts of horrible thoughts of what that man was going to do to me. I shivered down to my core and felt sick again but I ignored it and continued to eat. " How long have I been asleep?" I swallowed hard for I took too big of a bite.

"Oh about three days I think." she smiled at me again while I just sat in awe and finished my plate.

* * *

Finally I was brought back into reality. I had reached the post office by now and was waiting in line to pay for a stamp. I hope I had enough, I didn't know how much they cost. A few minutes later I was at the beginning of the line, I handed the post man my letter and he stamped it and put it in the big pile of man waiting to be sent out. I looked up at him, "Hoe much for the stamp sir?" He looked at me kind of weird and said, " That would be three cents malady." I smiled at him and counted the change out and set it on the counter and left for home, I had had enough adventures for one day.


	4. Chapter 4

It was the morning of new years eve. Rosie and I had just finished baking the last of our cookies and were wrapping them up to take to her son Helder, along with his lunch like we did everyday. I admit, Helder wasn't bad looking. In a lot of ways he reminded me of the gypsies back at Spence. He was built strong and hard and at times I catch myself wondering what it would be like for him to just touch me once in some forbidden way. I sigh deeply to myself knowing that it will never happen, he only thinks of me like the little sister he never had. It doesn't matter anyways, Kartik is still and always will be the one for me.

"Gemma! Come on! We've got to get going before the streets get too crowded!"

Ah Rosie, always interrupting my thoughts about him, it irritates me but I thank her for doing it. If she didn't then I think I would find myself in a loony bin. I grab my coat and scarf and shove them on as I'm going down the stairs and out the door into the cold crisp morning.

"What were you doing up there Gemma darling? I thought you had already taken off without me!" I laugh silently to myself. She's such a hoot that Rosie of mine.

"I was just thinking that is all" I smile my nervous smile at her and take the bag of lunch from her hands and carry it for her.

"Onward to the docks!" I yell.

* * *

Later that night.

The three of us are sitting outside on the sidewalk watching the people walk by as they hurry to get home to loved ones and bars and wherever else these strangers are going. I lay my head back and look up at the sky, I've never seen fireworks before and am rather excited to see these marvelous things. Helder looks at me and laughs as he catches me looking up at the sky again and he nudges my arm.

"You'll know when their up there Gem, you can hear them from miles away."

He grins at me and I almost melt and shrink away from embarrassment. He turns to talk to his mom and I study him, the side of his face, his arms and legs. I scoot closer to him and gently rest my head against his shoulder. He looks at me and smiles and wraps his arm around me and continues to talk to Rosie. And in this moment I feel like I can finally move on from Kartik and I am actually happy for once in the longest time, I'm truly happy. I press my body against his without him noticing too much and I hope that when he looks at me again that he'll notice me as a woman and not a little girl, and that he'll kiss me when it is the new year. I try not to wish for it too much so I don't get my hopes up for I'm only human. Then out of nowhere I hear loud cracks and booms coming from every which way and direction and I look up in the sky and see crazy colors and shapes, and I stare up in amazement.

"Their more beautiful then I imagined." I softly whisper this to myself and then find someone whispering in my ear. "Yes you are."

I turn and see Helder staring at me with passion burning in his eyes and he kisses me, full and hard on the lips. I'm taken back by surprise and pull away to catch my breath and look at him. He's smiling at me and I smile back at him and then the moment is gone. He has this strange, pained look on his face and blood is dripping from his lips.

* * *

I shoot up out of bed with tears streaming down my face. I'm shaking and cant stop. I run to the bathroom and turn on the faucet in the bathtub and strip off my clothes and get in. I tuck my knees under my chin and watch the water rise around me. I close my eyes and then see him again. Blood dripping from his mouth, he falls back cries out in pain. He beckons for me and I lay on top of him holding him, trying to bring the warmth back into his body. I fail, and he lays lifeless below me. I start to scream for Rosie or for anyone for that matter to help me. I look across the street and see a man standing there, just watching me scream. I think to myself "Why isn't he helping?" "Why is he just standing there?" And then I realize he was the one that shot him. The man that tried to kill me, has killed the only other person I thought I could love.

"That was two years ago Gemma, get a hold of yourself!" I say outloud to myself, even though it's silly since no one else is in the room.

"If it hadn't have been for that horrible, wretched man I'd still be living in my dream city." I say this in my head, fighting with my own thoughts. " I don't blame Rosie for wanting to leave so she can forget. I mean I could have stayed there if I wanted to, I don't belong to Rosie but I just couldn't let her leave and be by herself..."

I open my eyes and see that the water has slightly started to run over the side of the tub. I turn the water off and stretch out and take a deep breath and lay down under the water and wait for this pained memory to leave me.


End file.
